


Another Observation

by Chieana



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Gender Identity, Light Angst, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Tenderness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:08:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26170942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chieana/pseuds/Chieana
Summary: Gerard can’t help it when the tears spill over, he lets out an anguished sob and stumbles further back, away from Frank. He’s scared shitless, he doesn’t know what to do, how to react. Suddenly Frank’s hands are on his arms. Gerard startles and tries to move away, but slams into the wall instead. Frank’s worried face swims into his vision.“Shit, Gerard, hey, you okay? It’s fine, man, come on. Breathe for me, dumbass,” Frank says, unable to hide the concern in his voice. It’s so Frank. Frank’s not hurting him, he’s helping him. Oh God, Gerard wasn’t ready to talk about any of this.-Frank asks about Gerard's gender before Gerard's ready.
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way, Frank Iero/Jamia Nestor
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35





	Another Observation

**Author's Note:**

> So I was having a small gender identity crisis (sort of) a couple of days ago and figured: Imma write it out of my system 👍 I don't know about Gerard's actual gender identity, I just used his likeness to get the weirdness out of my head (as I am wont to do in fanfiction) 😌🖤
> 
> I imagine this taking place sometime right before, or maybe on the first day of, Projekt Revolution. I don't know. I pulled a Gerard and ignored the timeline 👍

“Hey Frankie,” Gerard says as he walks into the night air. Frank looks up at him, taking a slow drag of his cigarette.

“Hey Gee... We need to talk,” he answers. Gerard looks sideways at him. Frank is shivering, his cigarette hovering in front of his mouth. Gerard hums, taking a drag of his newly lit cigarette.

“You’re cold, we should go inside,” he says and steps a little closer to Frank. Frank’s jaw clenches and he takes a step away from Gerard. 

“It’s fine, I’m not that cold. I’m a little nervous, is all...” he trails off. Gerard halts his movements, cigarette pursed between his lips.

“Ah,” he murmurs and folds down into himself. Frank sighs and rubs a hand over his face. He’s frowning a little and it’s doing nothing to reassure Gerard. They smoke in silence for a while. Frank eventually stubs out his cigarette and turns towards Gerard, crossing his arms over his chest. ‘Distancing himself,’ Gerard's brain tells him. Gerard doesn’t want to think about it.

“Hey, euhm. You know how I’m dating Jamia?” Gerard snorts and rolls his eyes, giving Frank a look that he hopes screams ‘duh.’ Frank grins and looks down with a tender look in his eyes. Thinking about Jamia, no doubt.

“Well, yeah, okay. Jamia and I- well, we don’t really have an agreement or anything. Jamia is pretty okay with me doing whatever, it seems, as long as I tell her what I’ve been up to. But I make sure to avoid any interactions with girls, women, because I’m obviously attracted to them. I do still flirt with guys, men, though. And Jamia seems to really enjoy that, somehow.” Gerard huffs out a laugh at that.

“Jamia’s super chill,” he concludes. Frank smiles a little and nods. “She’s a fucking pervert.” Gerard laughs out loud at that. He smirks at Frank with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. Frank rolls his in return.

“Yeah, well, we talked about that a while back. I joked that she must be getting off a lot on you and I kissing on stage all the time, but she just, kinda, fell silent.” Gerard stubs out his cigarette, heart clenching in his chest. He avoids looking at Frank, waiting for him to continue.

“I immediately apologized and offered to stop. I think she appreciated that, but the thing she asked next really hit me, if I’m honest,” Frank continues, looking at Gerard to get an idea of what he’s thinking. Gerard swallows thickly and glances at Frank, making accidental eye contact.

“What did she ask?” he asks softly. Frank breathes heavily through his nose and clenches his arms.

“’But things are different between you and G, aren’t they?’ she asked. I told her I wasn’t into men, so how could it be different? She told me I was blind and close-minded. We had a bit of a fight. I was still unsure about what I’d done wrong, so I asked her.” Gerard closes his eyes and tilts his head down. His heart feels like it was trying to escape his chest. He knows he’s never quite managed to avoid the little crush he has on Frank, or the one he has on Ray, but he didn’t think it was going to cause problems. Then again, things are different between Frank and him. He’d be a fool to pretend otherwise.

“What did she say?” Gerard asks in a small voice. He’s terrified, all of a sudden. My Chem is nothing without Frank. Should he leave for Jamia, as is his right, the band wouldn’t be able to continue. Frank sighs. He doesn’t know how to ask Gerard what he wants to, and Gerard’s questions aren’t helping.

“She yelled at me that I hadn’t done anything wrong. So I asked her what she wanted. She said I needed to talk to you. Talk to you about our feelings for each other,” Frank explains. He’s feeling more nervous with the second. He’ll have to spit it out sometime. Gerard feels like his heart stops, before thumping twice as hard in his chest. He stares at the ground with wide eyes.

“You have...” he tries to ask, but can’t spit out the words. Frank grimaces at him and looks away, clenching his arms.

“I fucking thought about it for weeks. It shook me up. I have no problems being bi, or whatever, but I’m still not into men. I have never enjoyed the look, or feel, or companionship of men like that. Never. But I did realise I had fallen in love with you,” Frank says before looking back over at Gerard with twitchy eyes. Gerard chokes on air, gazing at Frank with wild eyes.

“Frankie... but you’re with Jamia, forever,” he responds. Frank whines and shrugs his shoulders.

“Well, yeah, duh. I’m not dumping her for you. But I’m not dumping you either. You’re still one of my best friends. Anyway, when I fessed up, Jamia hit me over the head and told me I was dumb. She told me I was still straight, that I definitely wasn’t into men. She told me I had fallen in love with your personality, you as a person. And then she told me that she’s never seen you as a man.” Gerard gasps and reels back like he's been hit. Frank stares at him intensely, he hadn’t meant to say it like that. Gerard doesn’t know what to do. He feels tears pushing through, but refuses to let them slip over. He realises he’s panting, but can’t make himself stop.

“She said that you’ve always felt like one of her girlfriends, not one of her guyfriends. Of which she has too many and it drives me insane, by the way,” Frank finishes with an awkward chuckle. Gerard looks like he’s seen a ghost and Frank really isn’t ready to catch him if he faints. Gerard can’t do anything but stare. His ears are buzzing and he feels like he could pass out at any moment. No one had ever picked up on that. He joked about it all the time, saying he’s the girl of the band, but no one ever took it seriously.

“I’m gonna make an estimated guess based on your reaction and say that she was right about that. That you feel like a girl?” Frank adds after some time, because that’s all he really needed to know. Gerard can’t help it when the tears spill over, he lets out an anguished sob and stumbles further back, away from Frank. He’s scared shitless, he doesn’t know what to do, how to react. Suddenly Frank’s hands are on his arms. Gerard startles and tries to move away, but slams into the wall instead. Frank’s worried face swims into his vision.

“Shit, Gerard, hey, you okay? It’s fine, man, come on. Breathe for me, dumbass,” Frank says, unable to hide the concern in his voice. It’s so Frank. Frank’s not hurting him, he’s helping him. Oh God Gerard wasn’t ready to talk about any of this. He lets himself cry and slumps down the wall, hugging his knees to his chest. Frank drops down with him, arms stretched hesitantly in the air.

“Gee... I don’t know what I can do for you, please. Can I hug you?” Frank asks in a worried tone. Gerard lets out a shaky chuckle and nods. He lifts his head a little and pulls Frank closer to him. Frank wraps his arms around him as he continues to cry. They sit like that, for what feels like hours. It couldn’t have been, because no one’s gone looking for them yet. Eventually Gerard’s tears dry and he’s left sniffling into Frank’s neck as Frank rubs his hands soothingly over his back.

“I’m not sure, Frankie,” Gerard whispers under his breath. Frank’s arms twitch around him, before he moves an arm to pull Gerard’s face up. Frank looks into his eyes critically before assenting. He can work with not knowing. He can help Gerard figure it out.

“Okay,” he whispers. “That’s okay, Gee. You’ll figure it out. You’ll always be you. I don’t care if that means I’ll have to change things. What do you need from me?” Gerard wants to kiss him. Frank’s being so kind and attentive.

“Nothing, you’ve been amazing. Just keep being yourself,” Gerard responds with a tender smile. Frank feels his heart skip a beat. He suddenly understands why Jamia was worried. He understands it so well now. He’d do anything for Gerard right about now.

“What _do_ you know? Or what are you thinking about all this?” Frank asks as he settles down next to Gerard, keeping one arm over Gerard’s shoulders. Gerard shivers and sinks into the embrace, much to Frank’s delight.

“I just know that I’ve never quite felt like a boy. And the older I get, the harder it becomes. I’m okay with my body. Well, sort of. I have some pretty decent curves for being in a man’s body.” Frank giggles at that, causing Gerard to smile. Gerard grabs the hand hanging off his shoulder and tangles their fingers together. Frank smiles and nudges Gerard’s head with his nose.

“My pretty face also helps. I don’t think I want to, like, get surgery or anything, though. When I went to school as a girl, I enjoyed myself. It was the first time I really let myself give in to the temptation. I don’t think I want to be seen like that though.” Gerard sighs and rubs a hand over his face. “I want people to just see me, the person I am, not the body I inhibit. I don’t want people to look at me as an example. I don’t want to tell them how to live their lives. I just want to be happy.” Frank nuzzles into the top of Gerard’s head, fingers clenching his. He presses a long kiss into Gerard’s hair. Gerard still hasn’t made peace with being famous. It’s shocking how resistant he is to his influence.

“You deserve to be happy. You can be whoever you want to be, Gee,” Frank whispers. Gerard lets out a breath and relaxes. Frank lifts his chin up with his finger. Gerard looks up at him, still slumped down against him. Frank’s eyes are warm, so warm, and passionate. His gaze washes over Gerard causing his heart to beat erratically in his chest. Frank leans downs slowly and kisses Gerard. Gerard gasps a little. He curls a hand up and around Frank’s neck and falls into the kiss. It’s sweet, chaste, and warm, loving. Gerard knows it’s the last kiss he’ll get from Frank. He’s okay with that. And he’ll make sure to apologise to Jamia when he sees her again.

Frank pulls back with a cute little grin on his face. Gerard smiles soppily back at him and traces the shape of Frank’s lips. Frank presses a little kiss to his fingers. Gerard giggles and dives forwards into Frank’s chest. He wraps his arms around his waist and nuzzles into his neck with a smile. They’ll be okay. Some things might be put to an end, but _they_ are okay. Frank loves him. He loves Frank. They can be best friends, he’s sure of it.

Frank presses another kiss on top of Gerard’s head before speaking: “You’re gonna be okay, Gee. You’ll find the right person eventually. Eliza clearly wasn’t the one, but they’re out there.” Gerard hums and sits back.

“I think I’m definitely more into women than I am into men. Men kinda suck,” he says. Frank looks at him startled for a second, before bursting out in laughter.

“I’m not gonna argue with you on that, what the fuck, Gee.” Gerard smirks and sits upright, Frank’s arm falling away from his shoulders. Frank’s looking at him with a happy twinkle in his eyes.

“Men are the worst. I’m kind of an expert, because I am one,” he says with a grin and Gerard laughs. The door opens with a creak and Ray’s head pops out.

“Oh, good, the two of you are together. We’re leaving in a bit, so grab your shit so we can go.” Frank gives him a thumbs up and Gerard answers they’ll be right there. When Ray leaves again Gerard looks back at Frank. Frank smiles at him and holds his hand.

“You’re gonna be okay, Gee. If you ever need to talk about it, or need help, like for me to be there for something, just say the word, okay?” Gerard melts a little on the inside and leans forward to press a quick peck on Frank’s lips. He winks when he stands up. Frank gets up too with a chuckle.

“Thank you, Frankie.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it 👉👈 I would love to hear what you thought! You can leave a comment or come yell at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/ChieanaStrider) 🖤


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